


Hope

by Rennie75



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bonding, Dean Winchester Has Realizations, DeanCas - Freeform, Declarations Of Love, Destiel - Freeform, Episode 15x9 coda, Episode Related, Feelings Realization, Gen, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot, Season 15, dean uses words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:42:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22292011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rennie75/pseuds/Rennie75
Summary: SPOILERS FOR SEASON 15 EPISODE 9 (airdate: 1/16/20).This one-shot continues just after the episode ends. Dean talks even though Cass says he doesn't need to and shares more of his feelings. Slight angst but really a hopeful way to resolving some of their tension. No smut! ;)
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 7
Kudos: 83





	Hope

Dean Winchester studied the almost full bottle in his hands. Sam had needed time to process Chuck’s revelations which meant he was alone with Castiel. The silence was comforting. He shook his head as memories and doubts tried to crowd in; his friendship with Cass had rarely been comfortable. Somehow though, the bonds between them were as deeply embedded in him as his connection to Sammy. Family was all that mattered. Worries about the differences between the two bonds made him grit his teeth. Those feelings had always been there and were just one more thing he pushed aside without talking. Even with the haze of alcohol, his prayer to his friend echoed in his head. When Cass shifted in his seat, the words slid thoughtlessly from Dean’s mouth. “I am sorry.”

Cass’ lips quirked in a smile. “I know. You, me, and Sammy, we are better together. I know that too.”

The familiar words didn’t quite soothe the edge of Dean’s tension as his best friend no doubt intended. He stared across the table at blue eyes. “Cass—“

“You don’t have to say anything. I heard your prayer.” Cass continued to stare at him.

“You’re trying to make it easier on me and I don’t deserve that,” Dean argued. His usual nightmares had taken an even uglier turn after Cass had left. It wasn’t the first time the loss of the angel had nearly broken him. An image of a funeral pyre sent a chill down his spine. His hands flexed and curled around the bottle with a tremor.

Head tilting to one side, Cass studied him. “You still don’t think you deserve—“

Now, Dean interrupted him. “It’s not really about me. It’s about you and Sammy.”

Frowning, Cass stayed silent. Dean dropped his eyes to the bottle again. He had to speak even if Cass wanted to spare him. The pain still clawed inside him – sharp, painful, and twisted around everything in his mind and heart. It wasn’t the uncontrolled anger that had burned a hole inside him. It was a different kind of pain, a different kind of battle. It was one he associated with Cass: hell, torture, guilt, shame, yearning, hope. Hope. “Sam lost his hope.”

“Chuck stole it,” Cass correctly gently.

“I know what that feels like. Sam is gonna need time.” Dean lifted his gaze to remind himself that Cass really was still with him. He wouldn’t have to live without him…again. “I have to keep enough hope for him like he did for me.”

Leaning forward in his chair, Cass frowned at him. “When did you lose your hope? I’ve never seen you walk away from a fight even when you thought you were going to lose.” His mouth tightened into a hard, thin line, but he didn’t look away.

Dean swallowed hard. These were the words he needed to say, the words he’d never said to anyone. Sam had been there and had understood – he hadn’t made Dean reveal the full truth of that dark time. Instead, his brother had celebrated the win when Cass had been returned to them. Cass wasn’t forcing him to speak either. That fact made Dean want to share the full truth. He slid the bottle away and kept his hands on the table.

Cass spoke before he could form the words, “Dean, you are right. We are better together. We’re family. I’ll help you take care of Sam. He’s my brother too.”

Family. Even after the word settled in his mind and heart, Dean still ached. He still hoped.

“You need to get some rest. We’ll start planning tomorrow. For now, Chuck is gone.” Cass briefly squeezed Dean’s hand before standing.

“I lost hope after burning your body. Nothing mattered after that. You didn’t just rescue me from hell, Cass. You gave me hope.” Dean forced his body to stand. Cass turned in slow motion, blue eyes wide and fathomless. “When I lost you, I lost everything. I was ready to die.”

“I didn’t know…” Cass’ words trailed off. He stepped closer to Dean.

Not even a joke about personal space could stop Dean from sharing more. “You didn’t know because I didn’t talk about it. I didn’t talk about how much I needed you.”

Cass flinched at the familiar words, and Dean cursed under his breath. Carefully, he placed a hand on the angel’s shoulder. “This is why I don’t talk. I’m making it worse.”

“Dean, you don’t have—“

“Yeah, I do,” Dean interrupted again. “I need you not because of what you can do, but because of who are you. Because of what you mean to me, not just to me and Sammy.”

Unblinking, Cass watched him.

“I am better with you. I know it’s not the same for you—“

“It is the same. I am better with you, because of you.” Cass placed his hand over the one Dean had kept on his shoulder.

_‘I did it all for you.’_

_‘I love you.’_

Memories of Cass’ words filled Dean with hope and the pain always inside him flared hot and bright. It wasn’t the same as the anger – it wasn’t the same as the nothingness. The pain now felt good. It felt right. That anger he’d always carried released a small portion of its grip on his soul. The soul Cass always claimed was good and deserving.

“If I am good…if I deserve…” Dean lifted his free hand to rub at his wetness in his eyes. “I love you, Cass.”

The angel used his free hand to pull Dean into a tight embrace. Breath stuttering in his chest, eyes burning, Dean shuddered inside the warmth of Cass’ touch. The anger inside withered a little more as it was replaced with hope, yearning. Love. The words came easier.

“I really do love you.”

“I love you, Dean.”

Hope grew inside Dean – bright and alive. The pain was still there, but it was tempered by sweetness. There would be battles ahead, he knew that. There were always more fights. He wouldn’t be alone though. He would have Cass. He would have hope…enough for Sammy too.

It wasn’t over yet, but Dean was ready to fight. He wanted to fight for a future for his brother and a future with Cass.

Standing with his arms wrapped around Cass, Dean had his hope again and he would never let go.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my second SPN fanfic as Supernatural is still my current obsession! I simply couldn't resist this as I need more Destiel! Feel free to comment so we can chat about idiot boys in love! :)


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